halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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