I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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