It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
