The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
that's an acceptable place to lick
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
