just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
