I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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