all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dick very happy bro
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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