I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize
