I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
