I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
we're so committed to being not committed
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
