Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Drunk is not a location!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
