If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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