We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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