"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
