Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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