It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
