laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
