Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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