dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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