I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
