Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
