I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize