Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
