opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just invented taco cereal.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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