Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
