Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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