why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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