Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
