now i know why i became what i already was.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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