I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
