i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He has the fingertips of a God
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