i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize