I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
