Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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