whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
