there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize