i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
