If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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