Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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