The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
