I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
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it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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