Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
