Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
