You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
not ubering you a puppy
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
