This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize