There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
