I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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