saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize