8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
