Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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