let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
