i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
