wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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