It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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