Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
