Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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