so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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