Where did you get a picture of my penis
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
