That's intense
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
