Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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