He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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