You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
