Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
