That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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