her vagine was all disorganized.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
