beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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